Forest Gate, Durning Hall, 1999 – 2019.
THEY CAME FOR A CUP OF TEA AND STAYED FOR THE LOVE OF A FELLOWSHIP.
The ‘millennium meetings’ offered a refuge from pressures to socialise where alcohol may be a temptation during this difficult time of the year for alcoholics. Having somewhere to go and feel at ease was essential and the idea created by Ray, Margaret, Mick, Denis, Helen and many others over the years of service in helping others.
For twenty years the millennium meetings were put together for alcoholics who struggled at this time of year. Below we have members share their memories of attending these meetings from 9am New Year’s Eve to 10pm New Year’s Day.
Get a cup of tea, and a biscuit and have a read.
Ray – “It Was Needed”
Margaret – I met Ray in Leytonstone for the start of the first ‘The Millennium Meetings’. My last drink was end of October 1999 after three and a half years of struggling to be part of this life-saving opportunity. That morning we set off to Durning Hall in Forest Gate to set the room up. The first meeting, if my memory serves me right had ‘Awesome’ or ‘Australian’ Terry and Chris, son of ‘Cork’ Willie doing the chair. Members came and went throughout the 40-odd hours. At the last meeting, people stayed for a good singsong. Over the years many members came to Millennium meetings before getting a bit of shut eye, all sober. Making it a safe refuge to stay away from the first drink on a night that can be difficult for alcoholics. It has been a privilege to be involved over the years as the treasurer and last year January 2020 I was asked by Ray to be secretary at the joint AA/Al-Anon. I came down from Norfolk to do this service for something that helped me. I will say the Millennium Meetings were the brainchild of a very forward-thinking man who has saved the lives of many people who wouldn’t have got through those 48 hours, including myself, as we are all living our wildest dreams. A hundred million thank yous to Ray.
Denis – In late summer of 1999 Ray approached me and others regarding setting up a marathon of meetings on New Year’s Eve 1999 and New Year’s Day 2000. To be called the Millennium meetings were classified as 12-step work more than a social occasion. The main benefit of the Millennium meetings was for the member who was going to experience their first New Year’s Eve alone or find it a struggle. The meetings gave solace and hope for the coming year. The second year was the first time we went through the night. This is where some members found a safe haven.
The music at the end of the meetings was spontaneous in the first year. It made a lovely finish to the two days. Thus, the sing-along at the end became a regular. It has been a privilege and an honour to be part of the organisation committee at Forest Gate since that first meeting. For twenty years the millennium meetings were there to help members get through those difficult times, people travelled from all over London, Kent and Essex to be with like-minded people.
Carole – I feel safe there, I can stay all the way through the night, and sleep in the back room if I need to, many did. Having fellowship with different people from all over London, as we all do a little bit of service, how it all comes together is the time and effort Ray and his committee put into this makes it an amazing and safe place to be amongst fellow alcoholic. Everyone is on the same page, it’s a safe place and a oneness about it. all
Freddy – The Millennium meetings were a great help to me in my first year or two. I learnt to mix and socialise after being a recluse and antisocial for the last few years of my isolated drinking. The entertainment side really helped me to socialise with others and see bands there like ‘Trombone’ Annie and her choir and a band called The Resentments who eventually split up over resentment. The live music and Karaoke were great. Later in my recovery, I was fortunate to take people to their first meetings at the event and met many newcomers there. Many people I spoke to said it was so good for them over the New Year period especially in early recovery as it’s a safe place to go.
Chris W – On the morning of 1/1/2000 I held the early riser meeting. I left home early to pick up four other people. At the third pick-up, we were in thick snow….I got a puncture!!! What do we do??? Solution, call the AA. A very hungover young man arrived and could not understand our joviality. I started the meeting listening to Snead O’Connor singing “Make Me a channel of Your Peace” and we all shared our Gratitude.
Thank you, Ray, for your enduring service and I’m certain the New Year meetings will continue the legacy
Helen – I have attended every new year since being sober. I struggle with New Year more than Christmas and just knowing they are there 24 hours a day is a great comfort. I love seeing members from early sobriety who moved away. The come-and-go element is where we can pop into the café with a newcomer. I truly believe these meetings have got me through. Having somewhere to go and be, however you are feeling over this period is priceless. As for the posh biscuits and treats don’t get me started…! I would like to thank Ray for his service in starting these meetings and having them there for us all. The millennium meetings have got me through by taking that day as another day. I do not go out for New Year’s and take it as another day and the millennium meetings help me feel I’m not “missing out” I belong somewhere and I can do service and that I am needed and wanted and loved. long may they continue to thank God for AA.
Gary – My first new year in recovery was 2005 and I was struggling, I was five months sober. Me and my buddy Tom arrived at 9:30am New Year’s Eve morning. The first meeting was at 10am and boy did we need it. Ruth was the secretary, and Nora was doing the chair. I drank tea, and ate biscuits like there was no tomorrow. I stayed until 4am and came back at 1pm in the afternoon and stayed till 9pm. Those millennium meetings at Durning Hall were lifesavers for me and countless others
Eddie – I have loved the millennium meetings over the ten years I have been going. Doing service there helped me fall in love with AA. It helped me and was great to see how it reached out to help everyone who suffered over the new period. Praise to Ray who as we all know played a major role in setting this up keeping it going and keeping the dream alive.
Marcella – The millennium meetings at Forest Gate over the new-year period are a beacon of hope, especially in the darkest day of winter. I have attended meetings at all times of the day and night. Enjoyed toast for breakfast, received lovely hot cups of tea and was greeted by friendly faces that have always welcomed me with such warmth. For me, it has been an opportunity to catch up with people I haven’t seen for a while, as well as meet new people and hear the experience, strength and hope of the speakers. Auld Lang Syne is a lot of fun at midnight seeing in the new year. One year I joined Tony the guitarist with my violin, which is something I would never have done previously. I feel a lot of benefits, as they have added another dimension to my life, provided me with happy memories, and provided a lot of reasons to not stay home and be lonely and miserable.
Dwight – They were good to me when I first came out of treatment, I found it a safe place to go to over the new year. I liked the fact I could dip in and out. I helped make the tea in 2019/2020 and had the privilege of taking one of the meetings, which was an honour.
Harry – Had a lot of fun at the millennium meetings, first year I went dressed as Caesar with my son. No idea why I was dressed as Caesar. We had gone to a party before
Eric –I spend a lot of time over Christmas in forced social situations with family that I don’t normally spend time with, being mindful of others, trying hard to participate, being helpful and contributing in a positive way. The Millennium Meetings are a break from thinking of others to focus on me for a while”
Karen – I was about 11 months sober when I went to my first-millennium meeting. That grubby old hall I saw, I thought was going to be sparkling because of New Year’s Eve. I listened to the meetings, and what made me laugh was a member who swears a lot, I thought to myself thank F I don’t swear like her…that was how mad I was, I was still off my head. I took some numbers that night, one of them was Irish Jean’s number (This is bringing a bit of a lump to my throat). I burst out crying when the bagpipes played at midnight, I was absolutely sobbing and Irish Jean, asked what’s the matter? I told her it was my first sober new year. I helped light the candles that year when Ray went to get them. My first New Year sober…I’m so grateful for what that meeting gave to me. I’ve done service every year after, because of what it gave me and every year I tell Ray to put me down for service, even in July.
Hainault Mick- I was involved in the first meeting in 1999 which was Toothpick Ray’s idea. I was Secretary on New Year’s Day of the last meeting, which I had done for about 16 years, but had to give up due to ill health. The meeting was usually followed with a sing-song led by ‘Cork’ Willie, where people play instruments and sing till late evening, this has gradually stopped. It’s been a great idea, especially for newcomers to see what this fellowship is all about.
Jitu – Don’t leave before the miracle happens, they said. I started attending meetings at the end of March 2017 whilst still in the madness. I didn’t like meetings but had nowhere else to go, my last drink was on 20th May 2017. I was finding it difficult to connect and feel part of the fellowship. I listened, yet only heard differences. I wanted AA to show me how to drink as a non-Alcoholic. I had no desire to do the 12 steps and certainly wasn’t going to make teas and coffees for a bunch of Alkys. Not understanding, keeping it in the day, think, think, think and many more, one thing I heard was to keep coming back and I did, possibly through fear. At the 2017 millennium meeting, I was asked to help make teas, which I did and began listening. Suddenly started to hear similarities and heard this is an honest programme. I had not been honest with myself, let alone anyone else. As I stayed the more acceptance, I got of being an Alcoholic, I guess my heart accepted what my mind already knew. What really changed at the meeting? I don’t know, but a great sense of relief came over me and I felt a part of this fellowship. I found a sponsor to take me through the programme, which taught me a lot about myself. The desire to drink has finally been taken away, I’m grateful I hung around for the miracle, I did not get A.A. but gratefully A.A. got me.
Victoria – They have been vital, especially knowing they are there for two days is a form of security for me. Just being there has been a lifesaver for me and others within the fellowship. It felt like an all-nighter, I got the same vibe on New Year’s Day as If I’d been in a club. I was buzzing after doing the chair. Those two days saved lives for many of us.
Mathew – It was my first experience of being with others over the new year and not drinking, but having fun and connecting with like-minded people. It was my training ground for future New Year’s eve’s, Christmases and weddings. it was where I learned to how to have fun, chat and not drink.
Elaine – I moved to London in September 2009. The New Year Millennium meetings were something I’d never experienced before in my time in recovery. I volunteered for a tea slot which has never failed in helping me feel a part of it. It’s actually hard to describe in words what it has actually meant to me since then. The Hall is not at all an attractive place to be and yet every year I found myself being drawn there just to ‘see who’s there’ and getting so much more than meeting up with other fellows. It felt like a kind of haven for meetings, fellowship and a place to just ‘hang out’. Not to mention the abundance of tea and toast, plus all the sweets members bring along to share. It has also given me a great sense of pride when members travel to enjoy the East London welcome.
Brendan – I did the tea there one year, by accident. I got to Forest Gate at about 2pm and went behind the counter to make myself a tea. Someone came up to the counter asked me for a tea, thinking I was doing service…..five hours later I was still doing it and it was great. Me and Connie from Walthamstow did the service together. I remember at least six members bringing boxes of chocolates that day. Four boxes…..were liqueurs!! They went straight in the bin of course. I still think about it each new year.
Laura – I’ve been so appreciative over the years of the Millennium meetings, whether looking for a viable alternative or just wanting to see some familiar faces in a happy, sober, welcoming environment. I’ve raced there as a fool-proof plan B when other plans didn’t work out. I felt at home and safe, and I believe the year ahead will be manageable. It helps me realise that it is always, a day at a time.
John – My abiding memory of the first millennium meeting was going to the 10pm meeting and sharing. Thank you, Ray, thank you, everyone, every night for the last two years and three months. I have either put my kids to bed or gone to a meeting. This is the first time I have done both in one night.
Claire – Must have been circa 2008 or so. I had been invited along to share at a middle of the night o’clock kinda meeting. It was cosy and snug and festive and friend and Durning hall was all of an excitable candle lit bustle. I had a terrific impromptu lesson in humility, too, that night when a young woman relatively new to the rooms thanked me effusively for my chair afterwards, I could feel my pompous alkie wannabe sobriety guru head swelling with ease at the praise, until she said: ‘I never knew it was alright to swear that much in A.A.’ Crestfallen? Oh yes, and then some. But also caught marvelling at how effectively the cosmos had pulled the pride rug out from under me, again, someone had to. The most important things that night were the camaraderie, the fellowship, the sanctuary, the hope, the safety and the sense of oneness as recovering alcoholics chose to share and protect their precious, hard-won gift of sobriety at such a potentially precarious time of the year. It’s what we do, innit. – look after ourselves and each other. We’re indebted to the generosity and insight of Ray, Margaret, Denis, Helen, Mick and a host of other alkies who pitched in to make the millennium meetings happen in the first place, thank you for kicking off such a memorable tradition and for protecting the sobriety of many a vulnerable new year alkie. Love and Gratitude.
Paul M – For the blindingly obvious reasons, I was not there in 1999, as it was my last Christmas drinking, and I was to get sober in spring 2000. I first had the pleasure of meeting Ray at South Woodford in 2001, and from each New Year onwards I was honoured to serve at Durning Hall.
Peter H, as mentioned in Ray’s contribution, got sober in 1973 and steadfastly came every year to take a chair, marking a long trek from North Herts, on some occasions battling the worst of winter weather. Peter, who remains very active in the programme, was sponsored by Danny M. Danny—who sadly is no longer with us—came over from Ireland via Birmingham to play a major role in the remarkable growth of A.A. across Kent and the surrounding area. When Peter got sober, there were only four meetings in Kent, so he came into London and trod the boards, so to speak, with members of the Toynbee meeting and the East London circuit upholding the traditions. In doing so, he helped build a strong and lasting foundation that has been established for future members, as did the Millennium meetings.
One of my most cherished and outstanding memories is the 2007 candlelight meeting, when Peter brought a newcomer to her very first gathering. Everyone signed a large book for her, and she went on to remain sober for the rest of her life.
Millwall Fred on the teas for four hours, my yearly catch-ups with Ruth and Sparky Dave and the buzzer going off every minute when somebody would arrive!
COVID….and then Zoom arrived; yet Durning Hall left a lasting legacy and continues to carry the message forward.
‘Limerick’ Dave – I was talking with Paul about the Millennium meetings on Zoom the other night. I remember them well; it was always something to look forward to.
Even though I have family, my misses knew I would be heading to Forest Gate on New Year’s Eve to see in the new year with my fellow alcoholics.
I couldn’t cut myself in half. I wanted to spend it with my family, but going to Forest Gate meant a lot to me, seeing people in their early days who are struggling and being with them. It was great that Ray and the other members set it up.
I was there in 2003 when I got sober, and a few years after that. Great memories, good years of doing service, staying through the night and heading back home.
Even when I moved to Surrey, I’d still go to Durning Hall, and my wife would ask one of her friends to come over, and she would spend the New Year with her, while I’d be spending it at Forest Gate. Loved it.
I’m still sober and still remembering it.
Kerry – I have a fond spot for Durning Hall; it served me well on Saturday lunchtimes in the early days. There would be kids having dance lessons downstairs, the music, a browse through the tempting ‘free’ books left and chatting with another ‘of my kind’ outside.
But the New Year marathon meetings took me to a new level of comfort. My first visit was in 2005. I am one of our nervous kind, and at 3 years sober, I am still wobbly. My sponsor suggested I focus on keeping my head in volunteering, step-work and service work for a year, which I begrudgingly agreed to ‘give it a go…’
New Year just happened to be a Saturday, and I was in service at ‘the fridge’ in Burdett Road. Audrey, my sponsor, suggested I give it a go. The chair that night was Scottish Richard; he’d agreed to do it because he was playing the bagpipes to bring in the New Year at Durning Hall. I saw that as a perfect invitation to mark the end of 2004, welcome 2005 in the right way, and go on. Richard had all the garb on, ever so smart, the long socks, tartan kilt and the sporran, full of colour.
Hearing those pipes as we formed a big circle, we were being led by the sound of the pipes and Auld Lang Syne into a new 24 hours, a new year and a host of new possibilities. What better way to round off the old and welcome in the new? It worked, I stayed sober another year….
Thank you, A.A., and thank you, Ray, Denis, Helen, and Margaret, for coming up with such a wonderful sobriety-saver idea.
Sheila – I enjoyed the year I went to Durning Hall for the meetings and seeing some old faces. I didn’t stay to see the New Year in there; I went home to spend it with my family. So grateful there was somewhere like Durning Hall to go.
Scottish Richard – I first played at Durning Hall on the evening of January 1st, 2001, coming off a relapse! These meetings were essential to alkis like me who were bouncing in and out of AA and needed a safe place to be at such a ‘dangerous’ time of year.
I was to get sober properly in September of 2002 and remain sober to this day. I always did my best to attend the ‘Hogmanay’ meeting, i.e. New Year’s Eve and piped in the New Year after the countdown, usually led by Irish Ray.
There was always a lovely atmosphere of peace, serenity, and anticipation at the NYE meetings, and I was surrounded by my fellow East End A.A’s, many of whom I’d known since 1995 and who had assisted me with my chaotic recovery over the years! I cannot remember my last performance at the millennium meetings, but obviously it was before COVID struck in 2019.
I guess all good things come to an end, but those meetings gave us all such a sense of family and solidarity at an insane, unstable time.
Mark W – My first time there was in 2008, so I was over a month sober and was petrified to go out, to be honest. I went for a few hours, then went back home and probably hid. The following year, I stayed for about 12 hours, slept in the back room, and ate toast.
It then became a regular thing for me as New Year’s, funnily enough, kept coming up. I did service, and I made tea there with Liz. Someone asked for a milky tea, and I had an internal meltdown; Liz ended up making it.
I was often given the graveyard shift secretary position there for a few years, hoping that one day Ray would say, Mark, you can now do the candlelight meeting, I think I was about to, when COVID struck.
Thank you, Ray, for helping to keep many of us safe during dangerous times so we could build our strength for the January sales. They say Christmas is a tough time for turkeys and alcoholics, so is New Year’s pressure…..I don’t have that pressure anymore.
Helene – I loved the millennium meetings. It was a great way to deal practically with the bondage of self, which could often thicken over the Christmas period, and to get over there early and get stuck into making tea, while also feeling the warmth and friendship of the East London members, who I got sober with.
It was a great place to meet newcomers or people coming back, looking for a safe place to be quiet, fed, and supported.
Willie – It must have been 1999. Ray came up with the idea of the millennium meetings. All down to Ray, who is a wonderful and amazing guy, so helpful.
Ray got Durning Hall in Forest Gate, then after a couple of years, he said, ‘I’m thinking of doing 48 hours.’
I started to supply the music; we had some wonderful musicians, like Annie, Big John, Conor, and we had so many that came along on the last night. When I see the number of people who walked through those doors of the millennium meetings, I think, Wow. People from the streets, nowhere to go, those meetings were packed solid, they came from all over, just to be safe, and I loved it.
Kelly OC – One of my first times at Durning Hall, all I remember is being all dressed up for the NYE party. I was in a glitzy dress, sitting, listening to chairs and feeling very overdressed……
I loved it and knew I was ready to enjoy whatever I would be doing, sober. That hall in Forest Gate got me to see this, where I saw old friends and made new ones. Amazing.
Jim – My sobriety date is 17th October 2007, so my first millennium meeting was later that year. I don’t remember much about it. I was very hazy; I had to be defogged. I didn’t like New Year’s Eve. I didn’t want to be different from how I was every other day of the year. I just wanted to go out and have a drink, or stay in and have a drink, and not be part of the world. I wanted to be myself, and I had to be nice to people, which I didn’t want to be. I was a people-hater, and hated all the auld lang syne and all that hand-shaking; it wasn’t for me.
Going to the Millennium meetings was refreshing. I turned up on my own, took the bus because there were no trains, and didn’t know what to expect. I’d ring the buzzer and go up the stairs; there was a lift as well. I was greeted by people who had been around for a long time and were held in esteem. They were looking after the buzzers; there was tea and a plate with Trad 7 on it; and there was no hierarchy. My dad once asked me who was in charge, and I said no one was.
The good thing about the New Year’s Eve and day meetings was that I’d see people I’d see at other meetings, and here they were all in one room, one place. It was a good mixture. I would tell myself I’ll go after this meeting, and I’d stay for a few hours. It was nice to go somewhere that felt normal. I enjoyed it and chatted to people drinking tea and relaxing. It was comforting, especially as I was the secretary in that building on Saturday afternoon and also worked down the road.
When I left, I’d get the number 86 home and spend that journey looking back, thinking I’d had a good evening. I’d see people on the bus who were going out, and I wasn’t like them; they did it just for NYE. I used to do it every night.
I was home before midnight, asleep before midnight. When I woke the next morning, I remembered that I’d enjoyed it there; that is what sobriety gives me: the enjoyment. Thank you.
Keith – My first experience of the Millennium Marathon was on 31st Dec 2001. I was a few days short of 1 year sober. My sponsor was chairing a meeting at some ungodly hour of the morning, and he had volunteered me for tea duty!
My previous experience of all-nighters had been the jazz clubs of Soho in my youth and early 20s; this was somewhat different! I stayed all night and most of New Year’s Day, returning in the evening for the sing-along.
My abiding memory is Willie singing Sweet Caroline and teacher Mark doing American Pie.
Forever grateful to Ray for the original concept and for keeping it going for so many years, greatly miss Durning Hall and the Forest Gate cafe fry-ups.
Paisley Paul – My first time at the Millennium Meeting was around 6 or 7 in the morning on New Year’s Day 2015; I was 14 months sober.
There were 6 people; a few crashed out on the chairs. Terry the tattooist was there all night and said he was staying till the end. Big Irish Eddie was doing the teas, and I stayed for a few meetings.
The other times I attended were when Ray asked me to do service at a few of the meetings, which I did.
Julie – I came into Alcoholics Anonymous on 25th August 2004. My first meeting was at Durning Hall. It was going to be my first Christmas and New Year sober, and somebody invited me to the Millennium meetings. They consisted of back-to-back meetings for over 30 hours. I was asked if I was coming, as it would be good for me to be in a safe space, and… my snobbery, my ego led me to say, I might pop in’, as if I were doing someone a favour. I did pop in and remained there for 16 hours. I soaked up the fellowship; such an amazing place to be.
As my son got older, I was able to take him there, and he would play in the back room with the other kids while one of us parents made sure they were all alright.
I realised, while standing on the balcony of Durning Hall, that I’d never been on the balcony before. I looked out, and there were two pubs where I’d drunk and worked, and it helped me realise that these meetings had been going on for three years while I’d been walking out of those pubs, depressed and broken, sometimes with hostages, and going to a sad, lonely flat, in the depth of my alcoholism, and there you all were, all the time… I obviously wasn’t ready then.
I was so grateful in my early days that they were there for me. It taught me some good lessons; it taught me about contempt prior to investigation. In the years that followed, they had music; some people got up and had a jam, and I’d get up and do a song. It was nice to see new people go up and watch their confidence grow; it may have been the same for me, as I felt like a little child. I was four months sober at my first one. Then, for many years to come, I helped run the karaoke with a lady called Jill.
I have fond memories of it; it was a safe space for as long as we all needed. It’s a shame there isn’t more stuff like that around. It’s a beautiful memory, and I’m glad I was part of it.
Hattie – I came into the Al-Anon fellowship in 2011, and in 2013 I came into the AA fellowship. In November, I was out of work and started going to meetings regularly. 2013, we went to the Millennium Meeting, and I was pent up like a spring. I was cross and scowling at everyone, and thinking that I was not one of these people. We left after 3 or 4 hours and went home after not identifying. My partner said What was the matter with you? You were like a bulldog chewing a wasp. I told him to go forth and multiply…. In front of me at my desk was the Who Me pack, and I realised I didn’t have honesty, willingness, and open-mindedness, so I took a Sharpie, looked at the questions, ticked every box, and threw the book at my partner, as if it was his fault. I said That’s what’s wrong with me; I’m an alcoholic and burst into tears, and recognised that as the day I surrendered to AA and alcoholism. We went back to the millennium meeting and did most of the 24 hours in that room. This New Year’s Eve will have been 13 years ago.
Ben – The millennium meetings were very special; they allowed me to be somewhere safe as a free man after coming out of prison the year before. The guys at the East London meetings I was attending recommended I go there. 2013, I took my wife with me; she was a black belt in Al-Anon, also very much in denial of her own alcoholism. We went; I engaged, I was identifying, and I looked at my wife, and she was angry and not in a good place at all, so we left. We got home, had a chat… she then admitted she identified with AA. We went back that night and stayed. For me, New Year’s Eve was tough. When I look at my step work on my drinking and offending history, New Year’s Eve has always been a red flag for alcohol. So, to be in a safe environment like Durning Hall was a Godsend. It saved my bacon and saved my now-wife’s. Thank you to all who set this up for us, and I send you all lots of love.
